Combat the Chaos: Take a Breath

Aug 16

The last few weeks have been an insane struggle. We had fridges break down, cars break down, tow trucks break down, all while managing hectic busy schedules we created for ourselves. I would say the last week tested my both mentally and emotionally.

Being an overly Type A person has its pros and cons. I am organized, prepared, planned, and structured. However, when any mishap tears down that perfect plan, it tears me down as well. So after the car and tow truck break downs, I hit my breaking point and ended the night in an anxiety attack. It was the full works: can’t breathe, collapsing, sobbing, and the ugliest of cries. With the support of my husband, I calmed my chaos enough to sleep.

The next day, I woke up, washed my face, and told my reflection in the mirror that we cannot let these things build inside of us. We cannot be so overly consumed by emotions where we break. We must handle the emotion as it comes and avoid bottling it up for an unplanned explosion.

I had started doing meditation a few times a week, ever since my guided meditation experience with the digital summit. I was even reading a book about handling the burn out and adjusting my being to burn bright even in the hardest of times. My issue was that I was going through the motions of doing, but I wasn’t committing to the practice. I wasn’t setting myself up for success to really embrace this new sense of living. That morning after I repeated my mantra, I did a restorative yoga, realigned myself, and practiced my meditation. I do so using an app called Aaptiv, where they have guided meditation because I know myself too well; I am not disciplined enough to sit in silence and not let the thoughts race.

From this experience, I took a few things to add to my daily toolbox so that I can progress myself, and hopefully avoid the ugly cry.

Take time to breathe - Whether its 10 mins a day, during a chaotic moment, or right before bed, allowing myself to just connect myself to my breath and practice clearing my mind will improve my being.
Journal - Writing down thoughts and feelings and handling the emotions in the moment will allow me to feel and move from those emotions. This way, I am not bottling them inside for a Wednesday afternoon full blown freak out.
Progress not Perfection - It is hard to break the perfection habits. As a daily affirmation, I wrote this on my white board to remember that even the best of plans fail, and the failure is a chance to learn not a chance to crumble.

I am going to keep myself accountable in these new tools and make sure my days always include a moment to breathe.